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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2014 8:27:47 GMT -6
I have a number of friends, I call them church friends. As far as close friends outside the church world....zero. Something wrong there I suppose. My faith and my church keep me around people and that's a good thing. With out God in my life I have a general disdain for humanity and I always assume the worst about people. Therefore I postulate that people are, without exception, trying to get one over or otherwise pull a stunt on me, always out to get me. I act accordingly. I can count the people who have my trust and who are in my "inner circle" on one hand....zero.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2014 11:53:22 GMT -6
sydney: With out God in my life I have a general disdain for humanity and I always assume the worst"
OK, you brought up the subject, so here goes. First, you have to ask yourself why you feel this way. Have you always thought this way, or did something out of the ordinary happen to sour you on humanity in general ?
Granted, there are some bad people out there, some very bad people, ... but on the other hand, how will you ever know if you keep yourself cloistered and never be the first to break the ice and give those 'other people ' a chance ?
I have found you to be a very devoted Christian, but these words 'a disdain for humanity' goes against the very fabric of what Jesus hoped to accomplish while he walked the earth.
I consider myself VERY FORTUNATE. There are Friends,, and then there are CLOSE FRIENDS. I have close friends from every walk of life I have rich friends, I have friends who struggle economically. I have friends of almost every race and religion. Anyone who spends 26 years of their life in the military will become acquainted with people of every stripe.
One of my very best friends is a gay male. I can tell him things and know that he will never repeat a word if I ask him not to. He is the first to come calling when I'm under the weather, have surgery or a death in the family. And probably strangely to you, ( or maybe not ) he is one of the most spiritual. He has dealt with a lot of discrimination in his life but always has a smile and is such a loving sweet individual.
I have what I call my 'long distance friends' People I've come to know while we were stationed all over. Most of my 'long distance friends' are in Key West, although one of my dearest friends lives in Virginia Beach but she was born in Brooklyn N.Y, She was my 'backyard' neighbor in R.I Two more 'polar opposites' I doubt you could ever find. But we have remained close since 1971. We were both young back then and both had daughters in the same class at school, they were inseperable and soon so were we. I was from the deep, deep South, she was from Brooklyn. As soon as we deciphered each other's accents, we found that we had more in common than not. We filled in the gaps when our husbands were deployed. She was Catholic, I was Presbyterian ( at the time ) I went with her to Brooklyn for a family wedding once, and it was like a circus. Everyone embraced me as if they had known me all their life. I was an only child, she had about 7 brothers and sisters, so to say there was a 'houseful' was putting it mildly. That was one weekend I will always remember. What fun I had. She is a lovely, sweet natured, quietly comical person. I love her dearly.
I have at least a dozen 'very close friends' of whom I have no doubt would drop everything and come to me if I needed them.
I think the key to friendship is being willing to make the first move. Some people appear stand-offish until you get to know them. I, on the other hand, would talk to a fence post. I just love people, and my flock of friends looks like a UN delegation.They are all different in their own way, but I love them each for who they are
You can be rich as Midas, but without friends to share your life, you are missing out on one of God's greatest gifts. Sometimes, all it takes is to show interest in someone else, let them know you are interested in them and see where it goes from there. Life was meant to be shared.. widen your circle of friends, you will be rewarded.
You can imagine how thrilled I was with the invention of computers. I suddenly had access to email and could not only talk with my friends more often, I could SEE them through Skype.. I was like a kid in a candy store.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2014 12:12:31 GMT -6
sdney: With out God in my life I have a general disdain for humanity and I always assume the worst" OK, you brought up the subject, so here goes. First, you have to ask yourself why you feel this way. Have you always thought this way, or did something out of the ordinary happen to sour you on humanity in general ? Granted, there are some bad people out there, some very bad people, ... but on the other hand, how will you ever know if you keep yourself cloistered and never be the first to break the ice and give those 'other people ' a chance ? I have found you to be a very devoted Christian, but these words 'a disdain for humanity' goes against the very fabric of what Jesus hoped to accomplish while he walked the earth. I consider myself VERY FORTUNATE. There are Friends,, and then there are CLOSE FRIENDS. I have close friends from every walk of life I have rich friends, I have friends who struggle economically. I have friends of almost every race and religion. Anyone who spends 26 years of their life in the military will become acquainted with people of every stripe. One of my very best friends is a gay male. I can tell him things and know that he will never repeat a word if I ask him not to. He is the first to come calling when I'm under the weather, have surgery or a death in the family. I have what I call my 'long distance friends' People I've come to know while we were stationed all over. Most of my 'long distance friends are in Key West, although one of my dearest friends lives in Virginia Beach and she was born in Brooklyn N.Y, She was my 'backyard' neighbor in R.I Two more 'polar opposites' I doubt you could ever find. But we have remained close since 1971 I have at least a dozen 'very close friends' of whom I have no doubt would drop everything and come to me if I needed them. I think the key to friendship is being willing to make the first move. Some people appear stand-offish until you get to know them. I, on the other hand, would talk to a fence post. I just love people, and my flock of friends looks like a UN delegation.They are all different in their own way, but I love then each for who they are You can be rich as Midas, but without friends to share your life, you are missing out on one of God's greatest gifts. Sometimes, all it takes is to show interest in someone else, let them know you are interested in them and see where it goes from there. Life was meant to be shared.. widen your circle of friends, you will be rewarded. I value your opinion, You seem perfectly normal to me. When I was young I had lots of friends and they sought me out, I trusted them and they trusted me. Along the way I had a major event happen in my life. I have recovered but now I'm pretty much a loner. I have tried to open up more and be the proverbial extrovert but it's just not there. It's not a big concern to me I'm pretty much accustomed to it.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2014 12:36:30 GMT -6
Where were your friends when you needed them most ? If they were once your friends, they can still be. Communication is key. One way to get to know people is through volunteer work. I've had to give up a lot of that since I've had all these eye problems, but I met a lot of people who became long term friends through volunteer.
I hope things get better for you. We all need friends. I guess the need for diversity is just in my DNA
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2014 13:21:00 GMT -6
Things are just fine with me but thanks. I have Schizoid Personality disorder. Big fancy words that mean I'm a loner. I do not have Schizophrenia, I do not hear voices. I have more or less lost my ability to trust people and with good reason.
Theres a Schiziod Personality Disorder test here on line.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2014 14:08:50 GMT -6
Things are just fine with me but thanks. I have Schizoid Personality disorder. Big fancy words that mean I'm a loner. I do not have Schizophrenia, I do not hear voices. I have more or less lost my ability to trust people and with good reason. Theres a Schiziod Personality Disorder test here on line. This must be a very personal issue for you, however the fact that you have opened up about it says a lot about your trust issues. Most in your situation would not. I won't delve any deeper, since your privacy is your own and I respect that. But if you ever choose to talk more at length about it, you can message me. I have a big mouth and I have no problem expressing my feelings, but I hold confidences very sacred. I will keep you in my thoughts. BTW, I took the test, very interesting.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2014 17:20:05 GMT -6
Things are just fine with me but thanks. I have Schizoid Personality disorder. Big fancy words that mean I'm a loner. I do not have Schizophrenia, I do not hear voices. I have more or less lost my ability to trust people and with good reason. Theres a Schiziod Personality Disorder test here on line. This must be a very personal issue for you, however the fact that you have opened up about it says a lot about your trust issues. Most in your situation would not. I won't delve any deeper, since your privacy is your own and I respect that. But if you ever choose to talk more at length about it, you can message me. I have a big mouth and I have no problem expressing my feelings, but I hold confidences very sacred. I will keep you in my thoughts. BTW, I took the test, very interesting. I assume you passed it.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2014 18:12:33 GMT -6
sydney " I assume you passed it."
Well yeah, but you have to realize that I don't put 100% faith in these so called tests. They are used as a baseline only. The answers can vary from person to person and they still not have a definitive diagnosis. And another thing is, that any of those answers could apply to any given person at any given time. For example, there are many times when I relish my alone time. I take that time to decompress.
Back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, and I took some psychology classes, if I remember correctly, there are several variants of conditions which are closely related. For example, Schizoid personality disorder is often associated with and confused with or misdiagnosed as 'Avoidance Personality Disorder' .. they are very similar. Also diagnoses vary from doctor to doctor. Sometimes it's hard to have any two doctors agree on anything.
In any case, it must be hard for you to cope, or maybe not. No one knows how another feels until they have walked in their shoes.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2014 19:00:46 GMT -6
sydney " I assume you passed it." Well yeah, but you have to realize that I don't put 100% faith in these so called tests. They are used as a baseline only. The answers can vary from person to person and they still not have a definitive diagnosis. And another thing is, that any of those answers could apply to any given person at any given time. For example, there are many times when I relish my alone time. I take that time to decompress. Back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, and I took some psychology classes, if I remember correctly, there are several variants of conditions which are closely related. For example, Schizoid personality disorder is often associated with and confused with or misdiagnosed as 'Avoidance Personality Disorder' .. they are very similar. Also diagnoses vary from doctor to doctor. Sometimes it's hard to have any two doctors agree on anything. In any case, it must be hard for you to cope, or maybe not. No one knows how another feels until they have walked in their shoes. I walk a step ahead or a step behind and I don't always walk on the beaten path, but Life has been good to me, I have no regrets. I look at myself as enlightened.
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Post by samsara15 on Nov 30, 2014 8:39:37 GMT -6
I'm certainly not a lover of humanity in general, and consider myself a misanthrope, and am also a loner, but now and then I do encounter some very nice people. None of us are perfect, of course, but that's the nature of being human.
Solitary confinement would be no punishment to me. I am quite happy with my own company.
Our whole family is like that; we are quiet people, and prefer to avoid the spotlight.
Nonetheless, I feel we need other people to survive more than we sometimes think we do. Life is a cooperative effort.
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Post by rdlb on Dec 27, 2014 12:39:56 GMT -6
None outside of my wife. Acquaintances at work, church and the neighborhood. I do not see myself as anti-social, I have learned to listen more than speak and that has drawn more people towards me. Yet, developing a close relationship with one or more is difficult and I have not achieved the closeness. I have somewhat compromised my biblical beliefs in not saying, disagreeing or being so dogmatic towards others and their belief system. Interesting note though, it was inferred that I might be this child molester on one of the boards. I had several Atheists who attacked the one who inferred as they saw within my posts nothing of the sort. Several of those I had only knew them from the various boards that I had been on for now over 17 years.
I now find the boards a "safe" place for me to come and express ideas. I can carefully read the responses and answer or reply with more cognitive awareness of their input as well as my input. I am trying to use my room for the more Biblical oriented subjects that are dear to my heart and life. Another note, I have always been able to use "rdlb" and not have to change it in any of the boards with one exception the "rdlb777".
My hope here on this board is that it continues and I will do my best to be a responsible contributor to it.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2014 17:35:02 GMT -6
None outside of my wife. Acquaintances at work, church and the neighborhood. I do not see myself as anti-social, I have learned to listen more than speak and that has drawn more people towards me. Yet, developing a close relationship with one or more is difficult and I have not achieved the closeness. I have somewhat compromised my biblical beliefs in not saying, disagreeing or being so dogmatic towards others and their belief system. Interesting note though, it was inferred that I might be this child molester on one of the boards. I had several Atheists who attacked the one who inferred as they saw within my posts nothing of the sort. Several of those I had only knew them from the various boards that I had been on for now over 17 years. I now find the boards a "safe" place for me to come and express ideas. I can carefully read the responses and answer or reply with more cognitive awareness of their input as well as my input. I am trying to use my room for the more Biblical oriented subjects that are dear to my heart and life. Another note, I have always been able to use "rdlb" and not have to change it in any of the boards with one exception the "rdlb777". My hope here on this board is that it continues and I will do my best to be a responsible contributor to it. I have found you to be a very open minded, fair person, one whom I feel comfortable confiding in
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Post by rdlb on Dec 27, 2014 21:03:46 GMT -6
None outside of my wife. Acquaintances at work, church and the neighborhood. I do not see myself as anti-social, I have learned to listen more than speak and that has drawn more people towards me. Yet, developing a close relationship with one or more is difficult and I have not achieved the closeness. I have somewhat compromised my biblical beliefs in not saying, disagreeing or being so dogmatic towards others and their belief system. Interesting note though, it was inferred that I might be this child molester on one of the boards. I had several Atheists who attacked the one who inferred as they saw within my posts nothing of the sort. Several of those I had only knew them from the various boards that I had been on for now over 17 years. I now find the boards a "safe" place for me to come and express ideas. I can carefully read the responses and answer or reply with more cognitive awareness of their input as well as my input. I am trying to use my room for the more Biblical oriented subjects that are dear to my heart and life. Another note, I have always been able to use "rdlb" and not have to change it in any of the boards with one exception the "rdlb777". My hope here on this board is that it continues and I will do my best to be a responsible contributor to it. I have found you to be a very open minded, fair person, one whom I feel comfortable confiding in Thank you, I will always maintain any trust given me.
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