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Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2014 23:57:34 GMT -6
My sister is disabled, she has a difficult time with finances, getting around, and being depressed. Recently her 42 year old son moved in "on" her. He has a long history of drug addiction, violence, a rap sheet a mile long, in and out of prison, and he is lazy. He pays no rent, no utilities, or groceries, he comes and goes as he pleases and uses her car as he doesn't have one. Recently he decided he wanted to move a woman in with him, how he expects to support her I have no idea. When my sister told him no, he began cussing her, threatening her and calling her names. I have always called him Baby Huey and threatened to send him a box of pampers for his birthday. Needless to say he hates me. For the life of me I cannot understand why she is letting him stay there. At least once a month he throws a hissy fit. He has brought drugs into her house. She is in no condition to deal with a giant 2 year old throwing fits. I have tried to talk to her, it does no good. It does not help that I cannot stand her son. The situation is so disgusting. What in the world would convince someone to let someone like that live with them? Does anyone have any idea?
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Post by carpathianpeasant on Feb 10, 2014 1:54:22 GMT -6
My sister is disabled, she has a difficult time with finances, getting around, and being depressed. Recently her 42 year old son moved in "on" her. He has a long history of drug addiction, violence, a rap sheet a mile long, in and out of prison, and he is lazy. He pays no rent, no utilities, or groceries, he comes and goes as he pleases and uses her car as he doesn't have one. Recently he decided he wanted to move a woman in with him, how he expects to support her I have no idea. When my sister told him no, he began cussing her, threatening her and calling her names. I have always called him Baby Huey and threatened to send him a box of pampers for his birthday. Needless to say he hates me. For the life of me I cannot understand why she is letting him stay there. At least once a month he throws a hissy fit. He has brought drugs into her house. She is in no condition to deal with a giant 2 year old throwing fits. I have tried to talk to her, it does no good. It does not help that I cannot stand her son. The situation is so disgusting. What in the world would convince someone to let someone like that live with them? Does anyone have any idea?
1. Fear 2. Wishful thinking 3. A need for help (physical) 4. A sense of responsibility 5. Some kind of legality 6. A desired return of some sort (like having another human around)
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2014 3:44:11 GMT -6
That makes a lot of sense CP, I wasn't thinking in those terms. You are probably right. Previously we had discussed her moving in with me, I have an extra bedroom, so maybe now is the time. Will call her later. Thanks CP. That really helped a lot.
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Post by carpathianpeasant on Feb 10, 2014 8:34:43 GMT -6
That makes a lot of sense CP, I wasn't thinking in those terms. You are probably right. Previously we had discussed her moving in with me, I have an extra bedroom, so maybe now is the time. Will call her later. Thanks CP. That really helped a lot. You mean like mommy feels sorry for her baby? Maybe that, too.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2014 20:46:22 GMT -6
it is out of my hands now. My other sister is taking care of the situation. She is not as diplomatic as I am though. She has threatened to turn him in to social services for abuse of a disabled elderly person. She also had her husband, who is an ex-boxer have a heartfelt discussion with him. I have a feeling her son will be moving out soon. Meanwhile we are finding someone to come once a week to assist her with what she needs. I am so glad, I was worried he was going to lose his temper in one of his hissy fits and hurt her. She is very fragile. Prayers answered!
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Post by rdlb on Feb 15, 2014 12:23:14 GMT -6
it is out of my hands now. My other sister is taking care of the situation. She is not as diplomatic as I am though. She has threatened to turn him in to social services for abuse of a disabled elderly person. She also had her husband, who is an ex-boxer have a heartfelt discussion with him. I have a feeling her son will be moving out soon. Meanwhile we are finding someone to come once a week to assist her with what she needs. I am so glad, I was worried he was going to lose his temper in one of his hissy fits and hurt her. She is very fragile. Prayers answered! Sometimes tough love works better than diplomacy. I had to dribble one out the door to stop the abuse towards my wife. That was twenty years ago, that individual is doing much better now. My heart and prayers go out to you and yours. I will especially pray for the situation of your sister for her needs and for the son who has the need of finding what he is obviously lacking within.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2014 13:15:11 GMT -6
My sister is disabled, she has a difficult time with finances, getting around, and being depressed. Recently her 42 year old son moved in "on" her. He has a long history of drug addiction, violence, a rap sheet a mile long, in and out of prison, and he is lazy. He pays no rent, no utilities, or groceries, he comes and goes as he pleases and uses her car as he doesn't have one. Recently he decided he wanted to move a woman in with him, how he expects to support her I have no idea. When my sister told him no, he began cussing her, threatening her and calling her names. I have always called him Baby Huey and threatened to send him a box of pampers for his birthday. Needless to say he hates me. For the life of me I cannot understand why she is letting him stay there. At least once a month he throws a hissy fit. He has brought drugs into her house. She is in no condition to deal with a giant 2 year old throwing fits. I have tried to talk to her, it does no good. It does not help that I cannot stand her son. The situation is so disgusting. What in the world would convince someone to let someone like that live with them? Does anyone have any idea? Love.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2014 22:59:35 GMT -6
That is not love Sydney. The last time he attacked her she had to run to her car, jump in, lock the doors and pray for her life. He come at her with a baseball bat. It took 3 squad cars of police officers to get him off of her car. He had smashed the windshield and was just about to smash her face in when they managed to rip him off the car. Why did he attack her? She tried to stop him from beating the more poop out of new girlfriend. This was right before she got sick. She can't run to the car anymore. Preventing someone from hurting you is not hurting them. It does not mean you do not love them either. I love many people, but I would not allow them to impose upon me what she is allowing him to impose upon her. It has to be some kind of emotional sickness. Love does not work that way. What? No self-esteem? A martyr complex? It reminds me of some of the women I knew growing up who would let their husbands beat them up. Then they continued to. I used to wonder when I was a little girl, "why"? Oh he didn't mean it. He was mad. He was frustrated. On and on and on. Yes he meant it. Yes I get mad and frustrated too but I never want to smash those I love in the face. And worse yet? Why did they continue to allow them to do it? I think that made me madder then anything. Hit me once, sure maybe it was a mistake. Sure give them that. It could possibly happen to anyone. But twice? No that was not a mistake. Long ago I made up my mind that if someone wanted to make me his punching bag he would have to come through a bullet to do it. It is not nice to hit people.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2014 23:02:44 GMT -6
it is out of my hands now. My other sister is taking care of the situation. She is not as diplomatic as I am though. She has threatened to turn him in to social services for abuse of a disabled elderly person. She also had her husband, who is an ex-boxer have a heartfelt discussion with him. I have a feeling her son will be moving out soon. Meanwhile we are finding someone to come once a week to assist her with what she needs. I am so glad, I was worried he was going to lose his temper in one of his hissy fits and hurt her. She is very fragile. Prayers answered! Sometimes tough love works better than diplomacy. I had to dribble one out the door to stop the abuse towards my wife. That was twenty years ago, that individual is doing much better now. My heart and prayers go out to you and yours. I will especially pray for the situation of your sister for her needs and for the son who has the need of finding what he is obviously lacking within. Yes sometimes you do have to do that. I think the situation with him will get worse. He is using meth. Has for a long time. Cooked his brains? Seems like it. Sad, very sad. Thank you for your prayers.
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Post by rdlb on Feb 16, 2014 14:47:31 GMT -6
Sometimes tough love works better than diplomacy. I had to dribble one out the door to stop the abuse towards my wife. That was twenty years ago, that individual is doing much better now. My heart and prayers go out to you and yours. I will especially pray for the situation of your sister for her needs and for the son who has the need of finding what he is obviously lacking within. Yes sometimes you do have to do that. I think the situation with him will get worse. He is using meth. Has for a long time. Cooked his brains? Seems like it. Sad, very sad. Thank you for your prayers. We have a former son-in-law who loved meth more than his wife, children and a great job with benefits. Prayers, His many tours of prison life and lack of those who would love him and provoke him to good works has finally realized some fruition. The many prayers that have gone forth on his behalf are being answered. Out of prison, going to church and visiting on a regular basis his two children from a better half-way house. He sounds better, looks better and there is a "inner change" of his spirit sensed by others for over a year. This has been the longest time for him. He is also studying psychology. I remain prayerfully hopeful of his life's outcome.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2014 22:00:35 GMT -6
What a horrible thing to have to go through. Your daughter has my sympathy, I hope she has been able to go on with her life with happiness and joy. My prayers for your former son-in-law and your family. There is nothing the father can do that the Father cannot fix. Praying for healing for you'll.
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Post by rdlb on Feb 21, 2014 22:42:32 GMT -6
What a horrible thing to have to go through. Your daughter has my sympathy, I hope she has been able to go on with her life with happiness and joy. My prayers for your former son-in-law and your family. There is nothing the father can do that the Father cannot fix. Praying for healing for you'll. We appreciate any and all prayers.
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