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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2014 9:36:51 GMT -6
Does my husband know how my 'drum beats' ? LOL.. I think you've missed the point. A person who marches to the beat of a different drum doesn't even know what cadence they will march to until the time arises..And YES, he certainly does know that I don't hold to all this 'social standard' stuff. He knew that long before we were married. I don't think he would do well with a mate who walked in his every footstep and didn't have a mind of her own. I had a mind long before I had a husband. I have now had them both for a very long time and thank God they are both still intact. AND marching to a different drum has absolutely nothing to do with how deep my 'emotional attachment' to my husband is. It has to do with how I view social standards, or more to the point, how society sees me. Together we have tried to instill that same philosophy into our daughter and our granddaughter. This is it in a nutshell " You are your own person. You have the right to make your own mind up about personal matters, and NEVER, NEVER yield to pressure from someone else, or pressure from any source other than what your own brain and heart tell you. So now about that 'dove' analogy. Certain animals and humans too have the tendency to be monogamous, even after they have lost a spouse. That, is clearly their own choice. Just because someone remarries after losing a spouse ( that was the theme of the original post ) doesn't equal " Out of sight, out of mind " " because no matter how much love was shared between the two, the one who died is not coming back, not to this world. Remarriage after losing a spouse, will probably not even be the same sort of love. Love comes in different ways. When we are young, it is usually a passionate, urgent love. Then after we've matured and someone remarries at a much older age, it's probably more of a companionship sort of love. All the Viagra in the world can't change a 75 year old man back into a 21 year old man. I would never want my husband to live a solitary life if I go first. We have discussed this matter many times. I don't think humans were intended to live alone. I don't think it's emotionally healthy. I think life was meant to be shared and enjoyed. That's not to say that some people aren't loners by nature, but that, again, is their choice. No one else is making it for them. Once more I think we spend WAY TOO MUCH time trying to sort out what is 'socially acceptable' It's your life, live it the way you choose. I have to chuckle when you asked if my husband knew about my drum. If he didn't know it before we were married, he certainly knows it after all these years. I give him the same leeway. Just curious, are you somehow talking about your Mother or yourself ? This too, is a matter of personal choice, you are under no obligation to answer. You said you tend to 'be a clinging vine' What are you clinging to ?And is that vine strong enough to support you emotionally? Does that vine provide you with all the things you need to be a strong and happy individual ? I'm usually not an advice giver, but if asked I'd say " Use your own judgement, don't let anyone else think for you. Life is too short to live alone, life is meant to be lived to it's fullest Grab what happiness you can find and hold on tight, sometimes it's a rocky ride, but there are many rewards along the way. " That's The Gospel According to Skylar
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Post by rdlb on Oct 4, 2014 10:26:30 GMT -6
We have had discussions of remarrying if one of us goes first, (she will go first). I will not remarry nor try and find another mate. It is not that I am incapable of finding another to love and share a life with, I choose not to do so. I will cherish the memories and look forward to seeing her again in spirit and in the other life.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2014 12:14:06 GMT -6
We have had discussions of remarrying if one of us goes first, (she will go first). I will not remarry nor try and find another mate. It is not that I am incapable of finding another to love and share a life with, I choose not to do so. I will cherish the memories and look forward to seeing her again in spirit and in the other life. That's my idea of grandparents.
I never knew my grandfathers and my grandmothers lived to be quite elderly. Neither dated or remarried.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2014 15:53:26 GMT -6
We have had discussions of remarrying if one of us goes first, (she will go first). I will not remarry nor try and find another mate. It is not that I am incapable of finding another to love and share a life with, I choose not to do so. I will cherish the memories and look forward to seeing her again in spirit and in the other life. That's my idea of grandparents.
I never knew my grandfathers and my grandmothers lived to be quite elderly. Neither dated or remarried.
One of my Grandmothers died quite young, of cancer. My Grandfather remarried after about 10 years alone. She then became the only grandmother, on that side of the family, that I ever knew. She was a wonderful person and was loved by all the grandchildren equally and she loved us all too. If he had never remarried, we would have never known this warm beautiful loving person. I have to find it sort of funny when you say " That's my idea of grandparents " Grandparents come in all shapes, forms and ages.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2014 2:10:00 GMT -6
That's my idea of grandparents.
I never knew my grandfathers and my grandmothers lived to be quite elderly. Neither dated or remarried.
One of my Grandmothers died quite young, of cancer. My Grandfather remarried after about 10 years alone. She then became the only grandmother, on that side of the family, that I ever knew. She was a wonderful person and was loved by all the grandchildren equally and she loved us all too. If he had never remarried, we would have never known this warm beautiful loving person. I have to find it sort of funny when you say " That's my idea of grandparents " Grandparents come in all shapes, forms and ages. That's true but that's all I knew. I guess that's the measuring stick I look at all grandparents with.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2014 19:10:57 GMT -6
I'm a grandparent and have been for 21 years. I think I still have a little life left in me. I like nothing better than a good rock concert. ! Just think that all the rockers of the 60 and 70s are now in their 60s and 70s !
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Post by matador on Oct 8, 2014 22:34:52 GMT -6
I'm a grandparent and have been for 21 years. I think I still have a little life left in me. I like nothing better than a good rock concert. ! Just think that all the rockers of the 60 and 70s are now in their 60s and 70s ! I agree, and as far as the old rockers go, Fleetwood Mac has all its members back and they are recording new music and will be on the Today Show Thursday. I have been to many rock concerts and you would not believe how many kids are going to them. One of the largest crowd with youngsters was to one with Mitch Rider and the Detroit Wheels... not sure if any body remembers them!!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2014 13:14:51 GMT -6
Oh heck yeah, I remember Mitch Rider. ' Devil with the Blue Dress' ? As I recall, they had a kickin' drummer.
My granddaughter who I mentioned is 21, knows every lyric from every rock classic from the past. Classic Rock is still her favorite genre. ( thank goodness ) I guess she absorbed the lyrics through osmosis while riding in the backseat even in a booster seat. We would always go down the road singing. Aerosmith is her favorite . Imagine a young woman liking an old dude like Steve Tyler , but good rock never goes out of style.
At the present, David Bowie's 'Young Americans' is her ring tone. My apologies to the rappers but I think I'd pull my hair out if I had to listen to that stuff.. but to each his/her own. Give me Pink Floyd any day.
Speaking of Fleetwood Mac, I saw Stevie on some talk show the other night and she was talking about their upcoming album or I guess I should say CD It will always be 'albums' to me !. I wonder how many times she's sang ' Rhiannon' ?
BTW I just saw where Paul Revere died. He was 76. Wasn't he just in his 20s just a few days ago ? Where does the time go ?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 16:25:30 GMT -6
When I started this thread I mentioned something about two elderly people that started dating. He now is quite ill with cancer and some other problems, She is on oxygen now. In a romance age does bring along it's own set of problems.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 20:27:57 GMT -6
When I started this thread I mentioned something about two elderly people that started dating. He now is quite ill with cancer and some other problems, She is on oxygen now. In a romance age does bring along it's own set of problems. However... think how lonely their conditions would be without each other, that is if they are still together. Life in general brings it's own set of problems, why go through this alone if you don't have to ? You created a thread ' How old do you think is old ' ( maybe I paraphrased it, but you know what I mean ) I said I thought age is relevant, and I think that also applies here. I hope they are a comfort to each other.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 20:48:29 GMT -6
yeah, me to. On the how old is old I was looking for a number like 70 or 80. I think there is a number when you are old, you not look old and you may not feel old but.......... Like of like a car. You have a 1960 chevy it looks like new and drives that way, but it's old.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 21:00:33 GMT -6
yeah, me to. On the how old is old I was looking for a number like 70 or 80. I think there is a number when you are old, you not look old and you may not feel old but.......... Like of like a car. You have a 1960 chevy it looks like new and drives that way, but it's old. I just truned 70 in Oct. I really don't know how I arrived here, but man, what a ride it's been, and with God's grace I will have more years to celebrate life. I don't look for problems, I take each day as it comes. I enjoy my family, my animals, my music, my beach time. I'm blessed The problems start when you start focusing on age. Then it becomes a slippery slope 70 may, and probably does sound ancient to you, but believe me, one day you will wake up and guess what, you will be 70 too, It happens so quickly you don't even realize it. I was 50 when I lost my Mom, and it seems like yesterday. I wondered how I would live through that, but I did. Life goes on. I love being around my granddaughter and her friends. I'm fortunate that she still enjoys being with us too. She brings her friends over and we all have a good laugh, because I don't preach, I listen. Her friends come to me when they can't talk to their parents because they know they will be judged or condemned. That is the absolute worst thing a parent can do, it only turns kids away, then you've lost them. I tell them about the mistakes I've made, i don't hold anything back, I think that's what bridges the generation gap. She's ( along with my husband and daughter )my heart. I hope I've at least been somewhat instrumental in giving her the tools she will need to live an independent and self reliant life.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2015 18:31:33 GMT -6
I know two people that started a late life romance. In less than a year one is on oxygen the other now has cancer.
I feel these type of late life romanes are risky but if it makes them happy.
I've been single for a number of years and being single agrees with me, it's what you get accustom to I guess.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2015 19:54:34 GMT -6
I know two people that started a late life romance. In less than a year one is on oxygen the other now has cancer. I feel these type of late life romanes are risky but if it makes them happy. I've been single for a number of years and being single agrees with me, it's what you get accustom to I guess. Life, in general, is risky.
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