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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 10:27:12 GMT -6
You're welcome to your opinion, but I don't share it. Citing scripture perhaps is valid as a tool to explain to me why you feel the way you do, but I do not share your faith, and besides that, am quite sure that many others of your faith feel differently about this issue. I think sydney and I are of the same faith, and I certainly DO NOT share her opinion. Love and human feelings are a gift from God. If one has had a happy marriage for many years, they are fortunate. But just because one has lost a spouse does not mean that one cannot achieve love and happiness again. None of us can foretell what the future will bring. Grown children can often act like real chilldren when it comes to parents remarrying. Sometimes money is the issue, sometimes jealousy is the issue. What sort of person can a grown child be if they would deny happiness for their mother ? If the lady in question is of sound mind, then her 'grown' children are behaving like spoiled brats. They have somehow by passed their mother's happiness and focused on their own input. That, to me, is the ultimate, selfish disrespect.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 10:44:36 GMT -6
I was divorced 10 years ago, he divorced me for someone else. I never have felt like looking for a replacement. I know everyone is different but it's hard to understand why a older woman and men to that's had a wonderful life with their partner, raised children and now have grandchildren would get to the point of wanting someone else, I don't understand the feelings behind it. I do understand that it happens and often. No offense but I'm not going to share your view because it popular, I'll stick with my own set of values.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 10:56:28 GMT -6
You are kidding, right ?. My Mother remarried after my Dad's death and she was far from acting like a 'teen queen' She was a mother, grandmother and a lady of quality who made her own decisions and lived happily until her death. We discussed her upcoming second marriage but she certainly did not ask my permission nor would I dare think to second guess her decision. I'm not getting this whole 'granny' thing. Grannys are people too. I understand that what you said is your own opinion, but I just don't 'get it' Why are you so set against people being happy and having a second chance at love no matter their age ? It is a fact that happy people are apt to live longer and have a better quality life than one who is lonely, which often leads to depression .
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 11:15:30 GMT -6
I was divorced 10 years ago, he divorced me for someone else. I never have felt like looking for a replacement. I know everyone is different but it's hard to understand why a older woman and men to that's had a wonderful life with their partner, raised children and now have grandchildren would get to the point of wanting someone else, I don't understand the feelings behind it. I do understand that it happens and often. No offense but I'm not going to share your view because it popular, I'll stick with my own set of values. I think the word 'replacement' is the key here. We, as human beings, are all created in a unique way. That being said, no one person can replace another. My Dad was my Dad, and I loved him dearly, so no one thought of my Mother's second marriage as a ' replacement' for my Dad. Her second marriage was a second chance for happiness and companionship. I was happy for her. Anything that made my Mother happy, in turn, made me happy too. I know of no one who 'lost respect' for her
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 12:15:49 GMT -6
My mother remarried when I was small but life went on. So yours was not an isolated case.
A friend of mine I grew up with she was married 5 times. She told me after she married that last guy...I finally got it right. Less than a year later she was diagnosed with lung cancer and died shortly after that. If remarrying will make you happy than her life was a riot.
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Post by samsara15 on Aug 9, 2014 14:06:05 GMT -6
Marrying someone, or wanting physical contact, wanting affection and companionship, is not acting like a teen queen. Would you prefer clandestine promsiousness?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 14:19:58 GMT -6
Perhaps I don't convey my thoughts well. Even Saint Paul said it was okay to marry but to remain single is better. He went on to say everyone has their gift of god, Promsiousness, if anything I'm saying the opposite.
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Post by samsara15 on Aug 9, 2014 15:11:38 GMT -6
Again, I am not of your faith, so what Saint Paul said has no bearing on the issue, except as one more person's opinion, insofar as I am concerned. I believe we should try to enjoy what parts of life we can; life already has more than enough pain and sorrow.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 16:48:06 GMT -6
Again, I am not of your faith, so what Saint Paul said has no bearing on the issue, except as one more person's opinion, insofar as I am concerned. I believe we should try to enjoy what parts of life we can; life already has more than enough pain and sorrow.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 17:02:40 GMT -6
Oh yes there is a lot of pain and sorrow. We don't live in the best of all possible worlds. However I will not espouse to any belief system I feel is less then proper.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 18:33:21 GMT -6
Oh yes there is a lot of pain and sorrow. We don't live in the best of all possible worlds. However I will not espouse to any belief system I feel is less then proper. So, you think it's not 'proper' to remarry ? The other lady that you referred to who died of lung cancer.. her disease had nothing to do with how many times she was married. It was just her time Again, you are totally entitled to vour 'belief system, as well as your personal opinions, but I just don't get it. No one should have to live alone if they choose not to. and everyone is entitled to happiness As a matter of fact, the pursuit of happiness was granted under the Declaration of Independence individual happiness,not what someone else defines as happiness Others do not live someone else's life , they do not know others' emotions, they do not walk in others' shoes. Happiness, or the pursuit of happiness is a basic human right Living out her twilight years lonely and unfilled, lacking companionship is something I would never wish for anyone. 'proper' does not enter into the situation. This discussion has taken on a 'weird' context'..Life is for the living and hopefully, she will be showered with happiness. There is too little happiness in this world already, so if remarrying will make the lady happy, then what anyone else thinks is of no importance. I wish happiness for everyone.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 18:58:07 GMT -6
My Mother-in-law passed away almost three years ago. Her husband was totally devoted to her
After her death my Father-in-law began to decline. He was always so outgoing, joking and the life of every party.
After her death, he began sitting alone in the dark at home and watched TV all night until fatigue made it possible for him to sleep.
He lost weight, was not eating right. began to drink and smoke, which he never did before. My husband and I, as well as other friends and relatives were in fear of losing him too.
Slowly last year he began going out, being with people in groups etc. Someone introduced him to a very nice lady about the same age as he.
They began to go out together. They have not married... yet... but she brought a life saving change for him. I don't think he would have lived long under those conditions. She will never 'replace' my Mother-in-law, but she practically saved his life. Thank God for her. My husband and I are eternally thankful. He is always smiling now, and joking and has been revived. He fully deserves to be happy and he is much healthier now.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2014 3:28:33 GMT -6
My Mother-in-law passed away almost three years ago. Her husband was totally devoted to her After her death my Father-in-law began to decline. He was always so outgoing, joking and the life of every party. After her death, he began sitting alone in the dark at home and watched TV all night until fatigue made it possible for him to sleep. He lost weight, was not eating right. began to drink and smoke, which he never did before. My husband and I, as well as other friends and relatives were in fear of losing him too. Slowly last year he began going out, being with people in groups etc. Someone introduced him to a very nice lady about the same age as he. They began to go out together. They have not married... yet... but she brought a life saving change for him. I don't think he would have lived long under those conditions. She will never 'replace' my Mother-in-law, but she practically saved his life. Thank God for her. My husband and I are eternally thankful. He is always smiling now, and joking and has been revived. He fully deserves to be happy and he is much healthier now. I think that's wonderful. But once again I think for a person in their 70s 80s and 90s to want to date and remarry is ill advised. But if that's what they want they can knock themselves out it's their life.
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Post by samsara15 on Aug 10, 2014 3:50:34 GMT -6
Oh yes there is a lot of pain and sorrow. We don't live in the best of all possible worlds. However I will not espouse to any belief system I feel is less then proper. Nor will I
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Post by samsara15 on Aug 10, 2014 4:58:06 GMT -6
sydney, do you think sexual contact and sensuality is in some way morally corrupt? That celibacy is the morally superior and preferred state? It seems to me that many religions and religious people feel that way. That asceticism and denial of all the pleasure of the flesh, including food, is a holier and more pure state than open enjoyment of the pleasures of the senses.
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